Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
