This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
handjob tips. give me some.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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