Whod you bang
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
