Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.