my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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