Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!

Fav 19 1876 938
share tweet
(830): View more from Texas

You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin

Fav 7 1178 2024
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.

Fav 50 6046 1240
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?

Fav 52 8961 1615
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(719): View more from Colorado

I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"

Fav 26 3439 6659
share tweet
(231): View more from Michigan

You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.

Fav 11 4601 1341
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(480): View more from Arizona

you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...

Fav 5 1962 1503
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(208): View more from Idaho

When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.

Fav 5 1091 535
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.

Fav 1 63 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT