is your mom at the bar?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that