..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
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I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
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I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.