He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
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There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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