Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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