I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just high enough for therapy.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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