"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
