I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
