I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
