their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
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at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
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He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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