so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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