in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize