Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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