Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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