well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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