so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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