Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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