So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
