Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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