Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
it hurts more in the daytime
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
