You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
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I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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