I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
