Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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