hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
