I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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