That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
