She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Green mimosas i think yes
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
