And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
