The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
