i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
