I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
