I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
