I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much Jack, so little girl.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize