so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
