drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
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he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
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I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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