Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
