Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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