guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
