idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
