I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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