I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
