Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
