their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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