SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
