Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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