Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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