i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
