you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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