Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
