Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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