My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
