I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
