the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
