I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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