Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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