I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
