Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
