i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
this is an emotional support booty call
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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