Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Randomize
