Plan B is the new Plan A
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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