Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
