if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
